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Day After Thanksgiving Bigfoot Hunt
The West Virginia Department of Wildlife declares Black Friday Bigfoot Hunt Day
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Is Bigfoot endangered?
Risking a backlash from staunch
wildlife enthusiasts and Bigfoot
investigators, the West Virginia
Department of Wildlife has declared
open-season on the Woolly Bugger –
but just for one day.
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Yes, it's true. West Virginia residents will be able to bag a Bigfoot, if they can find one on
the day after Thanksgiving. It seems the state wanted to make this day a yearly event for
male hunters, giving them something to do while their wives hunt for bargains at the local
Walmart on Black Friday, the most popular Christmas shopping day of the year.
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“It's a rare chance to put something new on the Christmas dinner table, I
guess,” said Billy Stods of Cutlips, West Virgina. “I plan on sittin' in my tree
stand near a bog down by the crick.”
The unprecedented announcement of a hunting season for Bigfoot is
something that has sent shock waves of protest across the United States.
In a time when states are moving to pass laws to protect the mythical
creature should it exist, West Virginia has made a surprising move in the
opposite direction.
“It's a crying shame and a dangerous move by West Virginia lawmakers,”
said Tommy Sutton, Director for the BRBS (Blue Ridge Bigfoot Searchers).
“What has Bigfoot done to us that we now think we can just shoot at them?”
This story follows on the heels of a reported find of Bigfoot tracks in the
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rugged Allegheny Mountain region of the state. The anticipation of hunting Bigfoot legally
has led to many trackers blanketing the area to locate Bigfoot trails.
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“You gotta' look for their turds,” said Mo Johnson of Liverton. "Their
turds are like nothin' you ever seen in the wilderness. 'Find their feces
and you'll find their species,' my grandpa always said!”
At left: Mo Johnson of Liverton, WV.
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Still, the question remains whether or not anyone will be able to actually track, find and kill a Sasquatch. To date, a
real Bigfoot body has never been found, although fake ones frozen in ice have been claimed to be the real thing.
Skeptics say the creature does not exist, except within the minds of hoaxers and researchers.
Will West Virginia still go through with a hunting day for a monster as elusive as Bigfoot? Protesters plan on
making some noise in the hopes of its cancellation. We can only pray that no one is stupid enough to go out in the
hills and hollers to hunt Bigfoot. And let's also hope that no one is dumb enough to wear a Bigfoot costume on
Friday.
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