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Bigfoot & McDonalds?
For years, there have been ongoing rumors that McDonald's Corporation has held secret meetings
with Bigfoot representatives in an attempt to launch McDonald's restaurant franchises in Bigfoot
territories. Known Bigfoot hot spots have become hotbeds for both tourists and Bigfoot enthusiasts
alike over the past decade. McDonald's believed they could capitalize on the surge and had sent
forth their mascot as emissary to broker negotiations. Now, we learn a deal has indeed been made.
Reuters recently reported that Bigfoot and Ronald Mcdonald met at a park bench in an undisclosed
location in northern Washington state. The initial meet-up happened in 2006. Video footage reveals
Bigfoot sneaking a seat beside the orange-haired clown, even mimicking how Mr. McDonald sat.
We've been told by an insider close to the situation that negotiations were at first awkward to watch.
Bigfoot Enterprises is said to have initially wanted to run casinos, similar to Native American
reservation gambling institutions, and incorporate the hamburger chain within them; but,
McDonald's did not want any part of mixing their burgers with pleasure.
Without having defined, government-supported territories, Bigfoot Enterprises eventually had to
scrap their casino aspirations for now. Despite a late attempt by Burger King at wooing the
Sasquatch away, McDonald's prevailed with a whopper of a deal. Apparently, the Burger King
mascot was just too creepy for the Bigfoot to feel comfortable enough to consider partnering with
the ailing burger chain.
According to McDonald’s USA Chief Creative Officer Marlena Peleo-Lazar, McDonald's Corporation
feels franchises in Bigfoot territory will appeal to consumers’ emotional attachment to Bigfoot while
also conveying a hipper feel.
"We have a deal in place with the Sasquatch. Bigfoot is cool. By associating McDonald's with the
Woolly Bugger, we simply widen the berth of our coolness.” Hmm. Interesting take, Marlena. Let's
hope the Bigfoot don't "widen their girth" from eating too many burgers! We'll have to wait the
reaction of environmentalists when the first ground breaking ceremony ensues. Certainly, they will
not be happy. As for the story, we're loving it and apparently so is Bigfoot.
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Left:
Video acquired of
secret meeting
between Bigfoot
and Ronald
McDonald,
emissary for
McDonald's
Corporation.
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We can only imagine what the menu might
look like in Bigfoot country. Will there be
Bigfoot Macs and Sasquatch Shakes? We'll
keep an eye on this story as it develops.
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