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Bigfoot Toys
Are Researchers Using Bigfoot Toys to Understand and Reach the Real Bigfoot?
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While we'd admit that this
story sounds a little
far-fetched, it is rather
intriguing. In fact, it is
downright ludicrous, but
hey, we couldn't resist
breaking the Bigfoot story
of the month: toys being
used to research
woolly-buggers? Yeah.
Read on...
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Fisher Price recently released a toy Bigfoot called Imaginext Bigfoot the Monster. It's a
real toy that you can purchase today. In fact, if you walk through a Target, Walmart, or Toys
R Us store, you might run into the big fella' pounding on his clear plastic display. The
Bigfoot toy is a remote control walking, punching, flipping machine.
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Remarkably, some Bigfoot researchers
thought it would be interesting to use the
Sasquatch toy in actual attempts to get
closer to Bigfoot out in the wild (where
else would they be?). How did we break
this story? Our staff reporter Cameron
Thornberry was out on location in the
scrub of Washington state. Being one of
the hotbeds for Bigfoot tracking, Cameron
is always poking her nose into different
camps of Bigfoot hunters. (At right is an
actual photograph of Cameron feeding
the Bigfoot toy while out in the field. She
said it made her dream about meeting an
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actual Bigfoot up close, but we digress...) While in the midst of some mondo crypto hunters
she observed them taking turns controlling the toy by remote. Apparently, the idea is that
Bigfoot are spooked by human scent. By de-scenting the Bigfoot toy and walking it like a
toy soldier into Bigfoot habitat from a distance, it is believed that possibly the
woolly-buggers might be intrigued. Because of the close resemblance in features and
function, the Fisher Price Bigfoot toy just may be the research tool to bridge the gap
between humans and Sasquatch from a distance!
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Bigfoot Toys & Reality
Bigfoot hunters who have been doing this for
years say that the mannerisms (bad
temper), and monkey-like arm swinging is
very typical of Bigfoot motor skills. The
battery operated toy also can do Bigfoot
backflips, something no human ever would
be able to master.
Those working with the device have realized
they could "hack" it in order to modify its
behavior and hygiene. By wetting the small
patch of fur on top of the Bigfoot toy, they
can give it a realistic Sasquatch smell, much
like how a wet dog takes on a wreak that
would melt butter. By feeding the toy leaves
soaked in rancid chicken livers, Bigfoot
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experts have noticed that bad breath accompanies the little robotic beast. After removing
the back cover plate (just a few screws loose here), one can snip a pin on the circuitry and
send the Bigfoot toy into a repeated, realistic vocalization howl!
"I watched the little plastic puppet put to work in the underbrush of Washington," said
Cameron. "Amazingly, the little Bigfoot drone can maneuver through the woods like a
monkey hunting for bananas. Nothing could stop the Bigfoot toy from walking, even
rolling, through the thickest of bush. Bigfoot researchers stood at a distance,
remote-controlling the toy through swamp and over various obstacles. Before I knew it,
the little bugger disappeared into the thick, only visible at dusk through use of Infrared
optics."
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The photograph (at right) was sent to us from Cameron. It
was taken at night by Infrared as the toy beast flipped head
over heels through the green growth of the forest. Cameron
says that if the researchers make contact with Bigfoot by
way of the toy, they do have a plan in place.
"The Bigfoot toy was also altered to include a hand
grenade-type ball that explodes, releasing a noxious
cloud of gas. The hope is that an entire tribe of Bigfoot can
be gassed long enough for capture," says Cameron.
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At left is a test photo of the Bigfoot toy
casting a red gas bomb. The
harmless-looking ball can be detonated
by remote control. It would be optimum
if the Bigfoot played with the ball and
took it to other members of the Bigfoot
clan. That way, more Sasquatch could
be caught. Will it work? No one knows
for sure, but it appears that Bigfoot
researchers have finally come up with a
more sound plan in order to prove that
Bigfoot exists. It will take a real Bigfoot
body, not a fake suit stuffed in a freezer.
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